In my dreams I have red wild flowing locks just like those adverts you see on social media.
You know, the ones where the person's hair is all glossy and shiny, and those fabulous multi colours underneath. Or maybe pretty pinks and purple colours entwinned in the hair. Bah, not a hope. For years now I have coloured my hair, and to be quite frank I haven't a clue what my true natural colour is now. I know from photos it used to be a light brown but I've messed about with it for a long long time.
When I first started to have my hair coloured it was the fashion to have highlights, so those blond streaks got placed carefully around my head. It was the days of harsh white highlights, and after a while you end up with a hair of white because of the highlights being done so often. When I met Neil I wasn't quite white haired, but it was pretty close. All curly permed and white haired, like many a girl was at that time. I look back at those photos in humorous amazement. What did I do! Then I had a hairdresser friend who worked on the side doing home visits. He toned the white down and put red and gold highlights through. Very radical for that time. By then I'd had a range of hairstyles too. This was my shortest hair stage rising on the crown and flicked back at the sides. I know it suited me and yeah I was at my slimmest for a long time too. I look back at photos and I like how I look. I've never managed to gain that time back. My hair has been long and short and shoulder length and sometimes a mix of all.
You know when you think you can diy colour your hair? Well it never really works does it? I have been doing it for a while. I tried to do my own highlights and in spite of some new products where you can literally paint on the product it never really looked good, so now I am on to the block colour. Which brings me to my question, why doesn't my hair colour ever turn out like the colour on the box? I am sighing as I write this. I know the answer of course. The colour on the box is what you will look like if you have natural hair being coloured, and there is always that breakdown of what the end result will look like depending on your actual colour. My hair is coloured, multiple times, so it never will look like the colour on the box. I live in hope. I can't have those pink streaks either because, for a start, I think I will look daft at almost sixty (maybe not?), and also because I will have to have the colour striped out of my hair in sections first, before going pink. In my dreams!
Over Christmas I used a hair colour that was called 'chocolate pink' and it gave my hair that cool glow I wanted, but under my colouring my hair is actually quite grey now and so the pinky bits faded quickly. That's another thing, while I am on about it all...….how come my roots show so quick now. Is my hair growing faster than it used to? Does the colour not last as long? Am I using the wrong shampoo? What's going on? I used to colour my hair every six to eight weeks, but now it needs the roots doing around the four week mark! That's why I cant afford to get it done professionally. I do have one of these super spray thingies that you can use on to colour the roots and it washes out. Pity I've managed to spray my top a few times!
Anyway two weeks ago I decided I would go back to a colour I used a while back. Called 'frosted chocolate' I thought it was a red hue. Nope, my hair is far far too dark, a shock after using the pinky chocolate for three months. I know the red shades suit me well. I've tried one of those weird apps that show you what you would look like with various hair colours. I also know Neil likes my hair red. But I've been there and done it before. I've been a vivid glow in bright red which I hastily toned down the following day after catching site of myself in a mirror. Bright? It was almost neon.
One day I will get it right. One day I will be happy with my colour. I have a picture in my head, but whether I will get there is another thing. I suppose part of this is because, right now, our financial position means I need to just go with the cheap flow regarding my hair. I haven't had it cut for a couple of months, and the diy colouring is which colour I can afford. I don't feel sorry for myself as it's all fine, though I do feel a woman likes to feel happy with herself and how your hair looks is part of that a lot of the time. Neil would be mortified if he realised I'm not getting my hair cut, but I feel even £20 is too much right now. I am not going to stop the colouring of my hair though. I will afford that. It's a step too far for me to grow out the grey, and obviously I cant afford to get it graduated in.
But how exciting is my future (tongue firmly in cheek)? I mean, Neil never knows what colour I'm going to be. I don't even know what colour I'm going to be. I look in the mirror and think, is that me? What a crock!
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