How amazing to spend 60 years of your life with the same person!
I am in my second marriage, and we will celebrate our 27th Wedding anniversary this year. If I add my 10 years marriage to my previous husband to these 27 years I have been married over half my life! I actually feel quite sad that I can't state I have been married to the same person for all those years, although it doesn't detract from the fact I love Neil very much. I did love my previous husband too, but it just didn't work out. I wonder if, in the future, many people will celebrate such a milestone? It's so easy to get a divorce, and many people just live together now anyway. Those little celebrations will fade away in to an old fashioned memory of a passed time, and will probably appear in history books? I even have to look up the list of what each anniversary is and the gift associated with it now, as that is considered an old fashioned tradition.
My parents know our current situation and would be cross with us if we bought an expensive gift, but it's hard to let such a milestone go by without giving something to mark it. I was going to buy one of those bird feeding stations as I know mum would like that, but actually I may go for a commemorative sundial because that would look nice in their garden. I'm getting one of those commemorative newspaper books anyway. We've already done the family book of their life, book of their marriage, wedding photos, etc for previous anniversaries so I need to come up with something new. I didn't realise how few pictures they have of their wedding day, or even photos of them together, so that's made the choice of picture for the newspaper advert a little more challenging. I think I've picked one but will confer with Neil first.
I know that it isn't always bliss to live with someone, and I know mum and dad have had their challenges. Their generation is one of resilience coming out of the Second World War. Mum didn't wear the traditional bridal dress on her day, just a smart suit. She was German (she has had British Nationality for many years now), and met my dad when he was in the Airforce based in a town where she was a music teacher. She couldn't speak English and dad only spoke a bit of German, yet somehow they got on and fell in love. When mum came to England to marry dad she still couldn't speak English. I can't imagine what difficulties that caused, especially as they lived with my grandparents, and dad's brother and two sisters all in the same house, at first. Mum's family in Germany were considered rather well off. Dad's family was not quite in the same position. It must have been hard for them both, but their generation would rarely have countenanced divorce. You were married, and you stayed married whatever the problems.
Only yesterday they made us laugh with their memories of that time. Mum told us that one of dad's friends took her aside and asked her what she was doing going out with dad as he was known as 'Mad Martin'. My mind boggles at what stories he can tell us, and I hope to try and record some of them at some point. I know he had a bet that he wouldn't jump in to a particular river, but he did and he won the money. He was apparently a daredevil, but I have also heard from my Aunty that he was just the same as a child. Yet to me he looks so quiet and shy in his old photos! Dad also told us about some of the things he did as a child, like jumping off the roof of their lean-to with a sheet round his shoulders because he wanted to fly, and putting fireworks in the old vegetable bins by the lampposts in their road and watching them explode. Stories I have not heard before, and need to write down! I know far more about mum's life as a child as she had it quite different from dad. Her town was bombed regularly as it was next to the main railway line going to the industrial area. On the other hand I get stories from dad about going down the river all the time and fishing, and getting in to trouble from his mother as he had taken all the sausages from the pantry to use as bait. His childhood seemed a little more idyllic than my mothers. Different countries, different areas, different experiences, but they still fell in love.
I did finally ask mum yesterday if she needed us to move in with them. As I've said before, her comment two weeks ago was praying on my mind a lot. Did they need us more than they were saying? Well mum was adamant that she and dad are perfectly able to manage with most things, and Neil and I are not to worry. Obviously they need help with certain chores now, but she was very forceful in stating that they are not at all in a situation where we need to worry about them. Apparently my Uncle Keith's comment was a joke. So I've been worrying for nothing! But I did say to Neil later that we still need to get a plan together, and work out costings just in case. I don't want to be caught totally unprepared if we need to move in with them.
For now, we are all looking forward to that little celebration. A getting together of the immediate family and a day of catching up and reminiscing. I hope to hear some more new stories that I can add to my ancestral tree notes. Ones I can keep and smile at forever...…….
https://www.hitched.co.uk/wedding-planning/organising-and-planning/the-complete-wedding-anniversary-guide_850.htm
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