Urghhhh I've just had one of the worst night's sleep you could ever imagine. I often have a problem sleeping on a Friday night.....I call it 'Fridayitis'. It's almost as if I've worked all week, and now my mind and body are so wide awake in my tiredness that there is no hope of sleeping at all.
I suppose it started when Neil came to bed last night? We developed a strange sleeping pattern (for us) around eighteen months ago when I was having bad arthritis flare ups. We have a really good firm mattress on our bed, but with the pain of the flare up I would often move to one of our other bedrooms where the bed has a much softer mattress. It got to the stage where I would start off in our bed, wake up in pain and then move, almost every night. It didn't matter if I took painkillers, had a hot water bottle or ice pack to help, I still had to move. After a few weeks I thought it had become a habit ,and I worked really hard to manage the pain and stay in our bed. I wake up a few times in the night to go to the toilet anyway, and what with the cats sleeping at the bottom of the bed, I resign myself to having disturbed nights anyway.
Well, when Neil's anxiety escalated around six months ago, he couldn't sleep, and rather than disturb me he would get up and go into this other bedroom. When he had his breakdown, and then the Diverticulitis ruptured bowel, he had more problems sleeping and so pretty much started off the night in the other room.
We now sleep in separate bedrooms most of the time. Neil doesn't like it, and neither do I. We're not the sort of couple who have sperate bedrooms, unlike quite a few of our friends. We like the closeness of sleeping together...……..but not any more! I actually get disturbed if he comes to bed after me. I usually go to bed and read for a while to relax. If Neil comes up to our bed, and I am still awake, then I can't get to sleep. If I am asleep when he comes to bed, I wake up when he gets in to the bed. It's been spiralising out of control for us, and we cant seem to work out what to do to rectify it. Last night Neil tried again, but as I couldn't sleep I was reading (using a bedside lamp) and I just didn't feel tired. After about an hour of Neil falling asleep, then waking up and then getting up and going downstairs because he couldn't get back to sleep, I decided I was tired. So I turned off the light and fell in to a weird half awake/sleep mode. I heard Neil come back upstairs at some point, and he went straight in to the other bedroom. After a while I put on the light again and started to read, because I just wasn't quite deep enough asleep not to hear every single little tiny noise that seemed to be encroaching on my mind!! What's worse was that I wasn't even thinking about anything in particular. It got to about four o'clock, and I honestly thought it was such a silly situation to be in. I could hear Neil's deep sleep breathing, and so I turned out the light and tried to go to sleep. I must have done so, because the next thing I heard Neil get in to our bed...……..and I promptly was wide awake again. It was six thirty and I decided to just get up and come downstairs. I've fed the cats, they have gone to sleep on our bed I suspect, and am listening to the BBC news while I write this.
So I've had very little sleep last night, and I reckon it will hit me around three o'clock this afternoon, when I will go in to zombie mode and need to nap...…….which means I will not be tired tonight, and the whole cycle could start again? I've tried meditation in the past. I've tried getting up and going downstairs. I've tried doing something really mundane to make me tired. I've tried tablets. Nothing seems to work, and now Neil is having problems I think we have got in to a vicious circle we need to break, but neither of us really know what to do. All I can hope is that maybe, after Neil has had his operation and can hopefully get a job, he will be so tired he will naturally fall asleep in our bed, and that I will get used to him being there and also fall asleep? It could be a very interesting journey...……..?
https://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/tips-for-better-sleep
https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/sleep-and-tiredness/how-to-get-to-sleep/
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/health-fitness/mind/get-sleep-tricks-tips/
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