Some days you shouldn't get out of bed!

I am having a 'duvet afternoon' right now. We had to pop out to get a new toilet brush first, though. Neil was too vigorous using it and managed to snap it in half. You can't clean a toilet properly without a loo brush! Anyway, after a glorious roast lunch I am sitting here with a blanket over my legs, listening to Finding Nemo on the television, writing all this. I've had a good mug of black coffee and some luscious Raffaello sweeties (my favourite) so now I am quite warm and relaxed.

It's a good job I am like this now because I had such a silly Saturday. Whatever I did seemed to go wrong. Ever had 'one of those days'? Well I sure did yesterday! I got up ok, nice and early, and changed all the beds. By the time Neil got up I had already washed and tumble dried the first lot. I was on a roll, and it was going to be a good day.

In the car on the way to our usual visit to my parents I was lamenting the fact that my car, which we were in, was so dirty. The conversation went something like this....
Me - " I must wash this car as there's dog pooh all over the driver door. Have you seen it?"
Neil - "Blimey, it must be a huge dog to shit so high up on the door like that?"
Me - " Oh, no I mean cat pooh, ermm,...….."
Neil - (grinning)
Me - " ah, I mean bird pooh. Shut up Neil!"

It got worse.
Me - " You know the back windscreen is so dirty I couldn't see out of it yesterday. I'm not sure if it is inside or outside. You know what would be good?"
Neil - "No, go on...."
Me - "....a rear windscreen washer. You could just clean the window then."
Neil - "You have a rear windscreen washer"
Me - "No I don't"
Neil - "Yes you do. It's here......(demonstrating a flick and hold of the wiper switch so the washer released the liquid to clean the rear window). If you had read the car manual.....?"
Me - " The car manual is for all Ford Fiestas and my car doesn't have everything it says about"
Neil - "It has a rear windscreen washer switch"! *smirk*
Me - *dirty look at Neil*

Bah! We get to my parents house and mum puts the kettle on for us to have a cuppa. Neil and I have brought over a cool bag and ice blocks for our youngest son to pick up later in the day. I wanted to go to the loo, but decided to go and put the ice blocks in the freezer in my parents garage first. I marched outside, unlocked the garage door, opened it and entered the garage. The door flung itself violently shut behind me and locked! The key was on the outside! Ahhhhhhh! Calm down, I thought. Someone will come in a minute. I put the ice blocks in the freezer, closed it.........and snapped the freezer handle off. Oh noooooooo. Now I was stuck in a locked very cold garage with a freezer handle in my hand and I really badly wanted to empty my bladder! For ten minutes.....yes it took them all that long to realise I still hadn't returned...…...I paced the garage muttering "don't wet yourself" over and over to myself until I could hear footsteps and dad came to rescue me. To say he looked incredulous at the freezer handle in my hand as I raced by him shouting "thanks but I need to use the loo" was nothing short of hilarious. Three minutes later I was relieved to be explaining my predicament as my dad and Neil just shook their heads at me. Humph, as if they haven't ever done anything like that?

Later after a nice cuppa we all went for a wander in the garden to check out some fences that need mending or replacing. Dad and Neil went off to the far end, and mum and I happily pottered about checking out the plants.
" Ooooh look mum you have a mushroom growing" says I. Fascinated we both peer at the quite large pale grey 'cap' and mum tuts at what a state her garden is in. When the men finally appear I tell my dad how brilliant it was that he had a mushroom in the garden. " Look" I say excitedly " see it's there". Dad looked at the mushroom and then looked at me and laughed. "You need new glasses. It's an egg shell, look...….." and he neatly hooked up the mushroom 'cap' and turned it over. Sure enough it's half an egg shell. Dad left me muttering to myself about the fact it looked like a mushroom and why did anyone have half an egg shell upside down in their garden anyway...……

By the time we got home and had lunch I'd managed to tip the shopping over the floor accidentally, upend my pate on toast lunch so it landed on the floor (upside down) and slop coffee over my clean jeans. 

Some days you know you shouldn't have got out of bed! I compensated myself with drinking copious amounts of wine during Saturday evening while watching a documentary about Queen and Freddie Mercury. Some days you just need wine.