Mindfulness keeps me sane.

Three years ago my parents started to need more  support,and we all decided together that I needed to get back driving. I had passed my driving test 24 years previous and promptly never drove again. 

I kidded myself it was because I didn't need to, and that we couldn't afford for me to drive, and that we couldn't afford to run two cars, but really I think I just didn't enjoy it. We lived on a bus route. I worked within a 10 minute bus ride away from our home, and Neil could drive me anywhere else. I didn't need to drive. Well I wish, wish, wish I had kept on driving because now I would have to pretty much start again, even though I had passed my test! I knew full well I would need refresher lessons to get in to a car, and when I say I was scared that is a total understatement. The traffic on our roads had changed and got far busier than when I had learnt all those years ago. I shook. I was erratic when I drove and hated every minute of it. I had ten refresher lessons and then my parents bought me a car. I felt the expectation of being 'mobile' heavy on my shoulders, even though everyone said if I didn't want to do it then it was fine. It wasn't fine because I needed to get driving so I could be of help to my parents! That was the whole point. Neil tried to help by taking me driving around on quiet Sunday mornings but it didn't help. I was actually physically sick with fear sometimes, or would randomly burst in to tears with the anxiety of it all. In the end I looked around for something to help. I started to use Bach Rescue Remedy spray and pastilles. I've never sucked so hard on sweets! Around that time I was also doing on-line courses for leisure with Future Learn, and one about mindfulness came up. I've never done mediation but thought it could do no harm to try and see if it would help. I learnt an awful lot, and started to  use the techniques every time before I drove. The combination of the Rescue Remedy products and mindfulness made all the difference, and I am now far more relaxed about driving. I don't go far though! I drive back and for to work, and drive to my parents. I have proved I can drive in difficult circumstances as I've had to drive a howling ill cat through morning rush hour traffic on a busy main road...…..and managed it fine. My mother had a fall and I drove in busy traffic, while seriously worried about her, at night and it was fine. I know I can do it all, but I still don't like doing it! 

Mindfulness has helped me with a lot of things. Take my rheumatoid arthritis. The weather has changed dramatically and it's milder and rainy. In fact it's pretty much rained all day. It's not really been proven that weather changes affect rheumatoid arthritis but I seem to have problems at certain times. My doctor said to me that it's all to do with air pressure changes which I don't really understand. Last year I used an app on my phone to record how I felt each day, what I ate and what the weather was like for six months. It was done in conjunction with a lot of other people and the results were studied and compared. The conclusion was that some people with arthritis are affected by the weather. That stress and fatigue can exacerbate the symptoms and make them worse. Really that's my life in a nut shell right now. I can laugh about it but when I'm having a flare up I do feel under the weather. Practicing meditation has helped me to cope with pain and learn to relax my body. It also helps me to unwind and to sleep. 

It's also helped me to cope with what is happening to Neil. If I can focus 'on the now' for even just five minutes a day it enables me to stay calm and strong so I can support him. It all sounds so weird, and it takes practice and it takes effort at first, but it works, honestly. Practicing mindfulness showed me how to have self compassion, and to think about myself too. Now I use the five minutes as 'me time'. I used to think anyone doing meditation was a bit hippy-like and maybe you do too, but don't knock it until you have tried it. It really works I promise. 

Mindfulness -  the psychological process of bringing one's attention to experiences occurring in the present moment, which one can develop through the practice of meditation and through other training. Mindfulness is derived from sati, a significant element of Buddhist traditions, and based on Zen, Vipassanā, and Tibetan meditation techniques.

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/mindfulness/

https://www.bachfloweradvice.co.uk/

https://www.futurelearn.com/