It is a fact that our cats sleep all day and most of the evening, waking to have a noisy rumble at around 2am. It is also a fact that Neil and I work all day, are awake all evening and try to be asleep at 2am.
There is no hope for us. Somehow our cats have got their time clock all mixed up. While they are happily snoozing on our bed or the sofa right now, I am bleary eyed and thinking of finding some matchsticks to prop those lids open. I suspect my 'dead on my feet' moment will hit about two thirds of the way through my shift today. Goodness knows what Neil is like?
I have no idea what has happened and why it's all gone topsy turvy, but none of us have recovered from when the clocks when forward a while back. Well Neil and I haven't! The cats just do their own thing to be honest. I have no idea what happens in their minds to make them think that 2am is a good time to have a party, but it's happened the last couple of early mornings. Neil has just started a job and maybe we are both a bit more restless as he needs to get up early? That might be it? Cats are super good at telling when you are in that 'almost awake but want to get back to sleep before the cats realise' moment. I can fidget all night in a deep sleep, and believe me I know it from the state of the bed covers, and the cats just snuggle around the feet area. I can slightly flutter my eye lashes in a distant 'may wake up' moment and Chester in particular will be there, one centimeter away from my face. I know it is one centimetre because I have stupidly opened my eyes after feeling his presence, and been heartily made jump seeing him so close. It's like he's willing me properly awake because he is a.bored, b.hungry, c.still bored, d.starving hungry.
I don't understand the mind of a cat, and we've had cats ever since I was a baby. Their plate can be two thirds full and yet they want more food. They want different food. They want any other food except what is in their bowl. They want my food. They want Neil's food. It doesn't go in that order either. They definitely want my food first! In fact, by the agonised howling and meowing that goes on in our household, in this situation, you would think we never feed the boys. There is a lot of gesturing and pointing at the food bowls and firm 'you have plenty of food so eat it' words directed at the cats by us, to no avail. They are categorically determined to tell us they are starving, and the food is at least an hour old, and we wouldn't eat food an hour old so why should they! All this while winding themselves round our legs in a trip you up sort of way. I'm afraid Neil and I are a sucker for a whingy cat and a slave to their demanding moments, but we do still try and drag out the starving routine as long as we can. Every cat owner will totally understand the game play here!
So back to being bleary eyed. The 2am antics usually start with a muffled meow from Murphy cat. He brings upstairs a squeaky toy in his mouth, while also communicating to us with the meows that 'a gift is coming whether you are asleep or not' determination. He meows all the way up the stairs and will triumphantly deposit the toy on the floor next to the bed with a sharp squeak. I am a light sleeper so I have hidden this toy, and many other squeaky cat toys bought in a mad moment, but he always finds them. If I bury my head under the covers Murphy will pick up the toy and dump it with another squeak next to my head. So the usual procedure is to wave your hand from out under the covers while muttering 'thank you Murphy, what a good boy you are' Actually he usually does settle down after that. But of course this has disrupted our other three cats who think it's an actual alarm clock. Cue at least two cats using me as a trampoline to get to the window to see if it's daylight. Nope it isn't, but never mind. We are all up now so lets run around the house for an hour making as much noise as possible, slamming through cat flaps and trundling up and down the stairs like a herd of elephants. Indeed a very large herd of elephants! Mostly Neil sleeps through all this. I don't.
So I have decided we have to do something or I will end up looking like an extra from Night of the Dead. We will start on an offensive and wear the cats out. We will play with them for hours in the evening, not half heartedly twitching and flicking a feather on a stick while watching the tv. We will play hunt the treats, roll the ball, scrunch the paper and run up and down the play tunnel. That's the cats not me, by the way. We will determinedly dangle and lift the fishing rod toys, and scatter some cat nip in the whizzy play thingy (I can't remember it's name but it whizzes and goes round and they chase the mouse on the end!?). We will wear the boys out so they sleep until at least 5am.
Well that's the plan anyway. All cat owners/slaves know that this will probably not work, or only last a couple of nights. We've tried the shut out of the bedroom method, but you would have thought they were dying by the amount of scratching at the door and howling that went on. We gave up after an hour. I expect you can tell we are indulgent with the boys? To be honest they give so much love and companionship to us that it's not really a problem, except when I hit that 'can't stop yawning' moment at work. Get over the ten minutes of that and you are ready for the final wave. Get past that final wave and you are on your way home to some 'very happy to see you because they have been sooooo lonely all day' cats. It's nice to be wanted.
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