Neil's car has been in the garage for almost two weeks now and I am pulling my hair out.....quietly though. Neil has enough to deal with. The last thing he needs is his wife moaning about the fact he is driving her car and she has to take the bus to work. But inside I am having grumble, to be honest. Public transport is actually expensive. It's not if you have a good distance to go, or use it often, as you can get saving discounts. It is expensive if you are travelling only a little bit, like I am. I have a yearly parking permit so it's relatively reasonable to use my car, but the bus is costing me almost as much each day as it would do to park for seven hours in a car park. I know you have to factor in the petrol but still it isn't really cheap for me right now.
So I'm feeling a bit restless. I want my car back. I never thought I would say that! The problems I had getting back to driving after 24 years of not doing so was extremely hard work. I was so scared and physically sick for weeks, every time I knew I was going to get in the car. I had to learn to do meditation to help, and eat buckets of Bach's Rescue Remedy pastilles before, during and after the drive. It was a work in progress and two years down the line I was just about getting to a place where I didn't have a mental relapse every time I had to drive. Now I am working hard not to feel nervous again. It's so silly really. I have seen far worse drivers on the road than I am, and far worse parking. I know I am not bad at driving, and I am quite capable. It's just the little gap I have had now is making me twitchy. I need to get back on the road asap. My feeling is tempered with the fact that I know I should really be using public transport. There is so much in the news about using your car less and helping to cut carbon emissions, and here I am saying I need my car back now. It's a quandary.
Mind you public transport is not all it's cut out to be. My bus comes every ten minutes, which is good. It's full of people talking on their phones, which is bad. It has free Wi-Fi, which is good. It has people who talk to you when you need half an hour quiet before you start work, which is bad. There are pros and cons, and I know what I like first thing in the morning before I go to work....calmness and peace, even if it's sitting in a traffic queue. Have you ever sat in front of someone having a loud mobile phone conversation irrespective of anyone being able to hear it? It's disconcerting, irritating, and you feel like you are earwigging someone's life that you don't even know. It's up to them if they don't care that everyone knows what is going on in their love life, but actually I don't want to know thank you very much! It's also smelly. One wet day and the whole bus smells like a damp dog, and you always get someone's wet umbrella stuffed up your leg.
In my car I can listen to whatever music I want. I can have complete silence if I want. I have my bagpuss cat in the back seat. I have my nice vanilla air freshener, and it's all calm. I have to keep my wits about me as my route is very busy, but actually it's more relaxing than the bus ride. Not only that but I have to walk from town to work once I get off the bus. I mean walk! Heaven forbid my legs could drop off!
So all in all I want my car back. I don't want to use public transport as I have worked hard to get back to driving. I need my car to support my parents, and so I don't feel so guilty about the fumes I am chucking out actually. I am a selfish person probably, but I do need the car. So today I have rung the garage and gently asked how they were getting on mending Neil's car? I have also booked my car in for an MOT next week. Hmmmm, at this rate I may be taking the bus for a while longer. Good grief. I may have to sit next to another person on the way to work instead of being on my own. It's so depressing!!
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