Apocolypse - an event involving destruction or damage on a catastrophic scale.

I'd never survive a zombie apocalypse! Not that there ever would be a zombie apocalypse because that's a make believe sort of scenario………..isn't it? 

So what about another sort of apocalypse? Some people suggest that Brexit could be our apocalypse! Or that the influx of immigrants is the start of one. Or that Donald Trump will lead us in to it. The Bible talks about one. There are mutters all over the place, and conspirators everywhere whispering amongst the internet. It's coming and we can do nothing to stop it. 

Well actually I think that is all a bit over the top. Yes, the world is having challenging times but we need to put our faith in the common man. We will triumph over adversity (a quote from somewhere that has slipped my mind). With that in mind I decided this morning to read up about surviving a zombie apocalypse. You know, just incase one happens, and also I do think it could be useful if any other sort of apocalypse happens! You should always be prepared. So guess where I went to find out about what to do? Yes, naturally, the internet. My eldest son did ask me the other day 'what did we all do before the internet to find out information'. Hmmm? Well you had encyclopedias. Every household had a set. You used them to help you with homework and projects. Your parents bought a book every month through some sort of payment scheme as a whole set was very expensive. I loved our encyclopaedias. Imagine flicking through one of those to find out how to survive a zombie apocalypse? I'm not sure if I had ever heard of zombies when I was a teenager? 

Right, to survive!
1. Choose your weapon 
Okay the problem here is that I don't use weapons. Now realistically I wouldn't want to get close to any zombie. So that puts a knife, hammer or any sort of thing like that, on a back burner. I have never used a gun and probably would not be safe using one, knowing me. What about a bow and arrow? Well my arthritis plays up and that means I have no strength in my hands to pull a bow. This is harder than it sounds. I think I will have to buddy up with some sort of military person. Ooooh Neil was in the army years ago. He knows how to drive a tank. It has a big gun. Sorted.
2. Assemble your team
Right oh. Family first. Survivalists next. They always have medical knowledge. Military after that. I can cook so I can be the home maker. You still need a home in a zombie apocalypse don't you. Oh I am so going to die!
3. Scout a location
Well I've always said a warehouse full of food would be good. There will be toilets and washing facilities. They are usually well stocked and generally are in a location that is secure with fencing round, especially if it is an industrial estate. If you get one with a garage next door you are sorted. I think my survival ratio is dropping fast...…
4. Pack a bag
Really? I'd have a suitcase probably. Hmmm maybe a big rucksack. Well that will play up my arthritis and I can't walk that well. This is not looking good.
5. Hang on to your humanity
I will take my mascara and lipstick. Always useful. (I know you are thinking that I could be the first zombie wearing lipstick.....)

If you look at those ways to survive they are useful in any situation. We all need knowledge to survive what life throws at us, and any of the above suggestions could help in any difficult situation you are in.  I just think I need to be more prepared, but not in an over the top way. Just to be more aware of what is going on around me. Riots and marches and violence all go around us and can flare up at any time. I walk through life quite at ease in my own world which is, I have to say, peaceful on the whole. 

I have no idea what I would do if caught up in a fight. Actually I do. I am pretty useless, but good at negotiating of sorts. I recall once, and once only, when I was at the edge of a quite large fight in my small town centre one evening. Neil and I had been out for a meal and were waiting on a seat at a bus stop in the middle of town. We heard a bottle smash close by, and the next thing a lot of men came racing out of the nearby pub and started fighting right next to where we were. Neil just told me to stay calm as he watched what was going on, and I called the police. Neil tells me later that he thought a man was going to hurt me, albeit accidentally, as the edge of the fight was going on right in front of us. He suddenly launched himself at someone. In the ensuing bundle this man ended up with his arm round Neil's neck, and I wasn't having that. I stormed over and shouted "get your f****** hands off my husband" while jabbing my finger at him. The man looked up and suddenly stared at me. "I know you he said". "I know you. Blockbuster Video I expect. Now let go of my husband" (I used to work in the local branch years and years ago). He nodded, promptly let go of Neil and apologised to both of us. All around there was this mass of fighting people. and shouts and glass being smashed and police sirens, and we were in the midst of a silent haze of apologies. It was funny but made me shake for ages after. 

Maybe that is how I am going to survive. I will be the negotiator? The problem is zombies don't negotiate. I really am doomed. 

https://theweek.com/articles/443278/complete-guide-surviving-zombie-apocalypse