Spring forward into Mother's Day.

Well I am feeling remarkably shitty this morning! One hour less sleep, and confused cats and a bleary eyed me are not a good sight in the morning. Good old British Summer Time.

I confused the cats because I was up at what they obviously thought was a respectable time. I mean, they are starving anyway because they hadn't been fed since midnight when we decided to go to bed after having an evening out! All cat slaves know that cat's can't manage without fresh food every couple of hours, even if their bowl still has food in it. Also, the very early hours are the best to thunder around the house playing because they've been asleep all day. Eat as soon as 'hooman mum' gets up and then go back to sleep for the rest of the day. I managed to get up at the same time as they did today. They are puzzled! 

I was bleary eyed precisely because we went to bed at around half past midnight, when I'm usually in bed by nine thirty. I then had 'The Show Must Go On' by Queen running through my head loudly. It's still going on in my head right now, ahhhhhhh. You see, that comes of watching the Freddie Mercury Tribute Concert before you go to bed. We dissected the singing as we watched it...…..there is NO singer like Freddie Mercury......and as a result some of the songs stuck in my head. At one point in the night I actually physically put my hands over my ears trying to stop hearing this song! Getting a song stuck in your head is called an 'Earworm'. It obviously happens to people a lot for it to have been given a name. Psychologists have even studied the phenomena. I wish I could get paid for doing that!! 'The Show Must Go On' was a very irritating earworm!

Anyway today is Mothering Sunday. A day traditionally spent honouring mothers, and mother figures. Sadly it has become very commercialised. Over the last few days the amount of bouquets of flowers filling supermarket aisles has bordered on ridiculous. You couldn't move for the day being rammed in your face. Not only that but people have been trying to cash in on it because almost every pub we went by on Friday and yesterday had a sign up. The sign advertised flowers to buy, Mother's Day was coming up didn't you know, and next to the sign was a stall with lots of bouquets on. It reminded me of Christmas time when little pop-up stalls appeared selling trees. Someone, somewhere must think this is a good idea but frankly I wouldn't be buying anything from one of those stands. You have no redress if the flowers are dead within a day. You have no idea where they have come from, and quite honestly the supermarket ones are better. I do wonder why I still see people running in to the supermarkets and garages on the actually Mothering Sunday and coming out with cards, flowers and chocolates? I mean you have had weeks of blatant advertising in your face telling you what date it is on. You have no excuse not to be prepared. There are supermarkets open twenty four hours. Get your act together! 

The sons both saw me yesterday to give me cards and goodies. as we can't get together today. I have been spoiled with gifts (can't have flowers as the cats like to eat them), and both wrote lovely words in their cards. I've even had texts already! Not only that, but I woke up this morning to a card from the cats. My, they really do appreciate me, in spite of all the complaining about not being fed quick enough every morning. I haven't had a chance to say thank you yet, but as I type this Chester is resting his head on my left arm, purring away, so I know he loves me! 

It is a special day for Mothers but it is important to take a step back from all the commercialisation and appreciate your mum every day. Phone them more often than you do. Talk to them more. Say thank you. Love them even more than you do already. Mother's and those wonderful mother figures in your life are not just for Mother's Day. Make those wonderful memories and keep them close. Mother's and mother figures are very precious. Today you can show them how special they are, but from now on maybe you could do that every day? Happy Mother's Day everyone.

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/psychologists-identify-why-certain-songs-get-stuck-in-your-head/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mothering_Sunday

Musings and more musings.

Some people like to live by the sea. Some people like to live in the country. I'm lucky as I have both in my area.

This week I've not been at work, and it's been bliss. It's been a week of getting blood tests for both Neil and I, and also getting all the preparation for his bowel operation next week, but it's still been bliss. We've managed to do the two things I wanted to do. One was go to the forest and have a picnic, and the other was go to the beach. I don't have many goals in my week off!

We were lazy and didn't actually make a picnic to take! Tesco does a fine range of that sort of stuff at a decent price to entice you in, and we took advantage of that. The only thing that went wrong was when I bit in to a scotch egg in the forest and the middle shot out in to a bush. The birds got a nice treat though! It was amazing to listen to the silence. Sometimes the high up drone of a plane could be heard, and sometimes the muted sounds of people talking and walking through the trees were in the background, but apart from that it was so peaceful. The school holidays haven't started yet so there were no screaming shouting children racing on the paths. It is quite simply amazing what a difference that makes. The joy of children running around freely isn't something I dislike, but to be honest I just wanted to relax and listen to the sounds of the forest and river next to us. It's very soothing to the soul, and I think both Neil and I needed it. The only thing we didn't do was paddle in the river, but forget about children screaming in the forest because you would have heard my shrieks from a mile away. That water was icy even though the sun was shining. We whiled away a couple of hours, and almost went to sleep in the calmness around us. I even managed a decent walk. Amazing what not being at work does to your body.

Yesterday, after a haul of blood tests for Neil and his telephone consultations for the operation, we went to the beach and had some lunch. It was blazing sunshine, perfect blue skies and a gentle spring breeze, and the gentle waves falling on the sandy beach made me close my eyes and will away all the things I have to think about normally. I picked a fabulous macaroni cheese with a salad and crusty bread and yummy it was too. I know it's a bit weird food for a lovely spring lunch time but It was what I fancied. Total comfort food in a totally comfortable setting outside. What more could I want? Well a longer time there actually, but Neil wanted to get home as he wasn't feeling 100%. As we left I just felt like my week off has been wasted away, and I haven't had enough time away from everything. It's the nature of someone being ill in a family I suppose. I really could have stayed there for hours and just sat and listened to the seagulls, the muted conversation around us, the sea whooshing gently in and out, and just gone to sleep.

It seems to be a the theme of this week that I have wanted to have peace and quiet? My life has always been a manic bumbling stagger, and yet I aspire to the life of 'ladies that lunch'. It's never going to happen but I can dream! Today it's a sort of Mother's Day for me at the request of the boys. We're having a meal at the eldest son's house this evening, and the youngest is visiting this afternoon. It's not that they visit their mother-in-law on Mothering Sunday, it's that they find it hard to see me when I want to spend time with my own mother, particularly on that day. The benefit of it all is that I get to have a weekend of Mother type specials and not just a day. More about that tomorrow!!

So the sun is shining again. It's set to be a lovely day, so I hope everyone is going to relax and enjoy it in amongst the bustle of their lives. Make time for yourself, and make time for your loved ones. Get to the beach or the countryside if you can. Relax. Make memories. Times flies past so quickly and we will it away sometimes. Speaking of, that we lose an hour tonight too. The clocks go forward. One less hour to sleep. One less hour to spend your life doing what you want! What rubbish! The government are talking about getting rid of daylight saving time or British Summer time as some call it, and here in the South I think that would be a good idea. Not sure those in Scotland would agree but we shall see what happens. Every year it gets talked about and every year nothing changes. Still at least my head will think it's six o'clock not five o'clock when the cats demand their breakfast. They have no idea the clocks have changed! Good job too. 

The deadly weapon of our age. Knives.

Years ago physical arguments were sorted out with fists. Today it's more often sorted out with knives. It's a scary world we live in. 

I watched a documentary recently called '24 Hours in Police Custody'. It was about an incident in the knife crime epidemic that seems to be sweeping our country, a stabbing in broad daylight. I watch the news. I see what is happening, but I found this programme harrowing in the extreme. It showed CCTV footage of two stabbings. I've never, thankfully, seen anyone stabbed in real life. This was close enough to make me put my hand over my mouth in shock and disbelief. To see someone physically attack, with speed jabbing and jabbing at someone's body until they collapse in a pool of blood, is quite frightening. One of the episodes happened in a shopping centre with people casually walking around the fight. Most people didn't have a clue what was going on until the police and emergency paramedics arrived. The fight had been silent and deadly quick. The second fight happened in the road outside a house. I found that one very hard to watch. It was as graphic as any cinema film you could watch. The person who was stabbed died. 

I really don't understand, and wish that someone would explain to me, why some young people feel the need to carry knives? They are very obviously dangerous, and if you carry one surely you are prepared to use it? If you are prepared to use it, then surely you must realise you could kill someone? If you kill someone and are caught you will go to prison. Surely these young people don't want to go to prison? Are they carrying it to actually deliberately hurt someone? I am confused. 

I am confused I suppose, because in my life carrying a knife is not normal. I wouldn't dream of carrying one right now. But I am also not scared for my life. or a gang member, or trying to hurt anyone, or trying to be 'big'. I've read a few interviews with people who carry knives, and on the whole there doesn't seem to be a particular reason for doing it, although most cite it's for protection. Somewhere, somehow, this cycle of carrying a knife because someone else is carrying one and may use it needs to be broken. I cannot imagine how. The police seem powerless to stop the knife crime, and no amount of  'stop and search' procedures seem to help. Knives are easy to buy. They are easy to get. In a supermarket there is an age restriction to buying one, but online you can just state you are 18 and order it. You don't need to prove your age. Everyone has knives in their kitchen. Knives are easy to access. They are easy to hide and, it seems, easy to use. They are the deadly weapon of our age. 

In that documentary the police did everything in their power to bring to justice the perpetrators of the stabbings. The end result was satisfying only in the fact that those guilty of the crime got prison sentences. Those convicted of the murder got extensive long sentences. Justice was served. But not everyone is caught, and still stabbings happen. Innocent people have been killed for simply being in the wrong place. I don't know if it is because we have wildly available media to tell us what is going on that we understand it is happening more and more. Has it actually always happened, and we just didn't know about it before? The statistics show that knife crime that is recorded has escalated. Note I say 'recorded'. I am sure it happens under the radar. Not everyone reports this sort of crime, and if that is the case then this really must be an epidemic of knife use for the wrong reason. 

So how do you stop an epidemic? You tackle the source. That means education in schools, and shock tactics at an early age? Start young, and carry on that education through the school years. Work with the community. Take this strategy in Glasgow, Scotland last year-

Specialist officers began working with both community leaders and ex-offenders, and they decided to treat violence as a public health problem. Rather than trying to prosecute their way out of a crisis, they focused on trying to prevent so many people carrying knifes in the first place. Initially the strategy involved a dramatic intervention. Hundreds of Glasgow’s most hardcore gang members were gathered together at the city’s biggest court and told they would be heading to jail if the stabbings did not stop. But alongside the threat of action, they were offered alternatives to violence – job training, education support and even relocation, if necessary." Since then, the carrot approach has been much more important than the stick for us in Scotland," explains Will Linden, acting director of the VRU. "We’ve been less focused on stop-and-search, for instance. And the evidence suggests scare tactics don’t work. It’s mostly about working with young people, having proper, ongoing conversations with young people about what it’s like to live in their area, what’s going on in their lives and trying to help them."

It seems to be working. Their model is based on one used in Boston, America in the 1990s for gun crime. The police used the community leaders and church ministers as mediators. Their crime dropped quite dramatically, the same as in Glasgow. They offered alternatives to the way of life the perpetrators had been having. Positive life choices, job apprenticeships, education. It really worked. 

I'm not saying this is the perfect solution for every area, but something needs to change. Maybe, just maybe, this police communication with the community will help. I think we need to bring back 'bobbies on the beat'. The policeman who knows the area he works in, and the people who live there. Who is welcome in their home because they know him. There needs to be more money put in to our communities and police, and I suppose there-in lies the problem? Money is tight. Time is short. Communities have got larger. But someone, somewhere could take the first step to build those relationships. People want this to stop, and I think deep down those young knife carrying people want it to stop too. 

http://theconversation.com/why-so-many-young-british-men-are-choosing-to-carry-knives-84385

https://www.theguardian.com/uk/2008/may/18/ukcrime2

Why aren't there etiquette rules for using your mobile phone?

Yesterday I had to wait an hour for a blood test in a room full of people. One of them decided to answer his phone and have a full blown, loud conversation for twenty minutes. I wanted to wrench that phone right out of his hands and chuck it out of the window.

We British are far too polite. That includes me. While that conversation was going on I could see the gritting of teeth, the hunching of shoulders and the almost imperceptible turning of heads, as this person's voice reverberated round the room. Apart from the odd shuffle, turn of a magazine or newspaper page and one or two coughs, the room had been fairly quiet. Not any more. I tried not to stare but really? Really? All I thought was 'don't you care that everyone can hear your whole conversation?' Not one of us said a word to this man, and yet it was clearly annoying more than a few of us. I wish I had been brave enough to stand up and tell him to be quiet, but I'm not. You cant do that any more. First, it encroaches on your human rights to have a conversation wherever you want (my tongue is firmly in my cheek by the way). Second, it could end up in violence and who knows what people carry on then now. Third, I am secretly a nosy parker!

By the end of the man's conversation on his mobile I knew a fair bit about Doug. Doug is moving, he is a 'pussy', likes cars and is ill. Doug was the person at the other end of the phone. I also know a fair bit about the man talking on his phone in the waiting room. He is loud, he also likes cars, is waiting for a blood test (never!!) and used to work at a garage that shall be nameless.....oh, and he wants to ride in a mini. What it is about rude people? Do they have no self awareness? At least he had the grace to apologise to the person sitting next to him once he had ended the call. For goodness sake, if your mobile rings and you are in a public place such as a waiting room, do not answer it. Just hit the 'reject call' button. It is rude to answer that phone ,and then talk incessantly about all sorts of stuff that I do not wish to hear about, nor I suspect does anyone else. 

This goes for answering your mobile on the bus. Hit that 'reject call' button! I once had the misfortune to be sat in front of someone who answered their mobile. By the end of that call I knew who she was talking to, how drunk she had been the night before, what colour her bedroom curtains were and who she was meeting later. I could feel my hairs on the back of my neck bristle with annoyance. It is rude, don't you know!!

It's also rude to be invited for lunch, dinner, afternoon tea, a drink or whatever, and then keep looking at your mobile. Social media will still be there when you leave. It will not have burst in to flames, crashed or gone pop. It honestly will still be there later on. Ban that mobile phone at meal times!!

Of course sometimes you are waiting for an important call or message. That is totally different. But it is possible to talk quietly, or actually tell the person you will telephone back in a short while as you are 'on the bus', 'out for a meal', 'in the toilet', 'in a supermarket queue in front of the cashier'. You can then go and move to somewhere more private. Better still, get them to text you. 

Yesterday reminded me of the comedian Dom Joly when he would answer his huge mobile phone and shout 'Hello.....' Everyone's head would turn. You don't want to be the person who is making those head turn for the wrong reason do you? Some people don't care, but maybe no one has grabbed their phone and chucked it out of a window yet!

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201312/why-are-public-cell-phone-users-so-annoying

You tube

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJezRcy2P8g&list=RDCJezRcy2P8g&start_radio=1&t=0

When your body screams "give me an avocado"!

You know you have eaten far too much crappy food when your body is craving an avocado!

I've got this week off work, and since Saturday I have progressively gone down hill with my eating habits. I know holidays are all about relaxing and just doing your own thing but my body has said it is enough. 

Yesterday I felt like I was about to pop. You would think I would be running around buzzing with all the sugary stuff I've been eating, a bit like a matchbox car  in overdrive, but nope, the engine has failed. My body sort of wound down in a haze of overeating yukkiness around yesterday morning. I genuinely felt like I couldn't eat another thing and maybe I needed to fast? Now I don't do fasting! Fasting? What's that? Good grief give me food. I never thought I would get to this stage a few days in to a week off but there you are. I am pooped...….or at least my body is.

I think a couple of days of eating a rather bigger than I thought parent's Diamond Anniversary cake has just tipped me over the edge. The sugar inside my stomach was doing a fandango, and outside it was rolling around telling me enough is enough. I love cake! I cannot believe my body has betrayed me and demanded avocado. I mean, really! Avocado? Well yes. I fancied it like mad yesterday, and I wanted it with haloumi and lettuce and chilli flakes and anything that looked like it was good for you. Now I've said this before, but I'm a firm believer in your body letting you know what it needs. The cravings are signs you need something, like maybe minerals, or ……...avocado!

I suppose I could have got my avocado hit by making one of those mousy things with dark chocolate but really, avocado chocolate mousse? Now that is one step too far. Savoury is savoury and sweet is sweet. Hmmm, unless it is chocolate coated pretzels, or sweet and sour sauce, or Chinese sweet chilli chicken. I found a recipe that said you should add a bit of sugar and butter to carrots just before serving. You can add maple syrup to parsnips to make them caramelised. Oh gosh, there is no hope for me. Forget a zombie apocalypse  (see yesterday's blog). I am going to be wiped out by a sugar buzz! 

In all seriousness too much sugary stuff is obviously going to be bad for your body. We all know it, many of us overdo it, and a lot of us get great pleasure from it. I'm one of those. But I do like savoury too. Thankfully my body tells me when I am really going to far (pop) and then I want some rather more healthy food. Yesterday for dinner I even had some white fish with roasted vegetables. So, scrambled egg for breakfast, avocado for lunch, and fish for dinner. What a healthy day. I still feel like I am going to barf if I see another piece of cake right now, but it is only seven fifty in the morning so there is plenty of time to get over that.

My plan today is to be a little more careful. Honestly, I did look like I was waddling with sugar overload for a few days. Enough is enough. My body has spoken, not literally but definitely it's told me in no uncertain terms that my stomach has an icing coated lining right now. Funny how the body speaks to you. Funny how I don't always listen either. One day I am just going to pop in a candy floss poof of fluff if I don't get my act together. Imagine that! Its more like my bowels will go poof but enough of that. No toilet talk here. 

I have to confess I did think about going for a walk this morning and having an ice cream at the end of it, so maybe the 'body screaming I will pop' bit has gone? I still want avocado. I still fancy some haloumi so today will be a delicate balancing act. I commit to drinking more water and being a (bit) more healthy. Not too much though. It is, after all, my week off!

Apocolypse - an event involving destruction or damage on a catastrophic scale.

I'd never survive a zombie apocalypse! Not that there ever would be a zombie apocalypse because that's a make believe sort of scenario………..isn't it? 

So what about another sort of apocalypse? Some people suggest that Brexit could be our apocalypse! Or that the influx of immigrants is the start of one. Or that Donald Trump will lead us in to it. The Bible talks about one. There are mutters all over the place, and conspirators everywhere whispering amongst the internet. It's coming and we can do nothing to stop it. 

Well actually I think that is all a bit over the top. Yes, the world is having challenging times but we need to put our faith in the common man. We will triumph over adversity (a quote from somewhere that has slipped my mind). With that in mind I decided this morning to read up about surviving a zombie apocalypse. You know, just incase one happens, and also I do think it could be useful if any other sort of apocalypse happens! You should always be prepared. So guess where I went to find out about what to do? Yes, naturally, the internet. My eldest son did ask me the other day 'what did we all do before the internet to find out information'. Hmmm? Well you had encyclopedias. Every household had a set. You used them to help you with homework and projects. Your parents bought a book every month through some sort of payment scheme as a whole set was very expensive. I loved our encyclopaedias. Imagine flicking through one of those to find out how to survive a zombie apocalypse? I'm not sure if I had ever heard of zombies when I was a teenager? 

Right, to survive!
1. Choose your weapon 
Okay the problem here is that I don't use weapons. Now realistically I wouldn't want to get close to any zombie. So that puts a knife, hammer or any sort of thing like that, on a back burner. I have never used a gun and probably would not be safe using one, knowing me. What about a bow and arrow? Well my arthritis plays up and that means I have no strength in my hands to pull a bow. This is harder than it sounds. I think I will have to buddy up with some sort of military person. Ooooh Neil was in the army years ago. He knows how to drive a tank. It has a big gun. Sorted.
2. Assemble your team
Right oh. Family first. Survivalists next. They always have medical knowledge. Military after that. I can cook so I can be the home maker. You still need a home in a zombie apocalypse don't you. Oh I am so going to die!
3. Scout a location
Well I've always said a warehouse full of food would be good. There will be toilets and washing facilities. They are usually well stocked and generally are in a location that is secure with fencing round, especially if it is an industrial estate. If you get one with a garage next door you are sorted. I think my survival ratio is dropping fast...…
4. Pack a bag
Really? I'd have a suitcase probably. Hmmm maybe a big rucksack. Well that will play up my arthritis and I can't walk that well. This is not looking good.
5. Hang on to your humanity
I will take my mascara and lipstick. Always useful. (I know you are thinking that I could be the first zombie wearing lipstick.....)

If you look at those ways to survive they are useful in any situation. We all need knowledge to survive what life throws at us, and any of the above suggestions could help in any difficult situation you are in.  I just think I need to be more prepared, but not in an over the top way. Just to be more aware of what is going on around me. Riots and marches and violence all go around us and can flare up at any time. I walk through life quite at ease in my own world which is, I have to say, peaceful on the whole. 

I have no idea what I would do if caught up in a fight. Actually I do. I am pretty useless, but good at negotiating of sorts. I recall once, and once only, when I was at the edge of a quite large fight in my small town centre one evening. Neil and I had been out for a meal and were waiting on a seat at a bus stop in the middle of town. We heard a bottle smash close by, and the next thing a lot of men came racing out of the nearby pub and started fighting right next to where we were. Neil just told me to stay calm as he watched what was going on, and I called the police. Neil tells me later that he thought a man was going to hurt me, albeit accidentally, as the edge of the fight was going on right in front of us. He suddenly launched himself at someone. In the ensuing bundle this man ended up with his arm round Neil's neck, and I wasn't having that. I stormed over and shouted "get your f****** hands off my husband" while jabbing my finger at him. The man looked up and suddenly stared at me. "I know you he said". "I know you. Blockbuster Video I expect. Now let go of my husband" (I used to work in the local branch years and years ago). He nodded, promptly let go of Neil and apologised to both of us. All around there was this mass of fighting people. and shouts and glass being smashed and police sirens, and we were in the midst of a silent haze of apologies. It was funny but made me shake for ages after. 

Maybe that is how I am going to survive. I will be the negotiator? The problem is zombies don't negotiate. I really am doomed. 

https://theweek.com/articles/443278/complete-guide-surviving-zombie-apocalypse

Music is the universal language of mankind

I used to love to dance to house and trance music. When I am old I'm still going to dance to it. Okay, in my dreams. Imagine a seventy plus year old woman dancing to house and trance music. I promise you I will be dancing, even if it's just inside my mind.

Music stirs the senses. It makes you sad, happy, reflective, relaxed, excited, but you cannot fail to be moved on some level by it. Years ago dancing to trance and house music  took me away from my day to day life when I was going through some tough times. I would go out a couple of times a week with friends and dance the whole night.....literally. Neil has told me I was known for not being interested in anything but being on the dance floor, where I would close my eyes and lose myself in the atmosphere of sound. It really did touch my senses, and I honestly didn't care what I looked like as I flew across the dance floor, I was just in my element. Luckily my friends were the same, and we all loved the same sort of music. Forget the golden oldies, sixties and pop, I just wanted to be energised and excited by music, and dance until I was exhausted. Lots of people felt the same, and still do. Music crosses all borders and speaks to all. 

Different aspects of music are processed by different parts of the brain, but all of the brain is used. There is actually some physiological response within the body when music is played, which shows that the music is having an effect. It releases endorphins, evokes memories and resonates with everyone. The hairs on the back of the neck can raise, the spine can tingle and the body can hum with vibrations. It tells a story. To each person that story may not be the same but the tale is still there, whatever the melody. It can rouse you to anger, to feel powerful, to be melancholy, to smile, to escape in your mind.

Think of film scores. Think of the ones everyone recognises whatever language they speak....Star Wars, Raiders of the Lost Arc, Terminator, Superman, Gladiator, to name but a few. Even if you are not watching the film you know the music and your mind is taken away with the melody. Music enhances a film. It tells the story. It takes you on a ride. There are very few films without any music. Even a lot of the old silent films had music played along with them. 

What about classical music? No one can fail to be roused listening to Gustav Holst 'Mars, the Bringer of War' from 'The Planets'. What about the famous 'Carmina Burana, O Fortuna' by Carl Orff? Stirring stuff indeed. Or how about 'Clair De Lune' by Debussy or my favourite 'Moonlight Sonata' by Beethoven. The last is very dear to me because my mother often played it. Sadly she can't play the piano any more because her hands are stiff and rheumatic, and to my eternal regret I never got a recording of her. But every single time I hear those notes being played it transports me back to when I was a teenager, curled up on the sofa in the sitting room quietly listening to my mother playing the piano in the dining room. That's what music does to you. It transports you to another world.

Music is even good for you. It's good for your mental health which may be why both Neil and I listen to it so much. I've had anxiety and Neil has stress related problems. Mind you it does depend on what music you listen to. I have been made mightily jump after being lulled in to a haze of calm, when a loud serious of notes has suddenly been played!  

Did you know there is even something called music therapy? 

It is relatively new, but it has also been met with positivity, and had good results. During sessions, people work with a wide range of accessible instruments, along with their voices, to create a musical language that reflects their emotional and physical feelings and conditions.This can help to build connections with both themselves, and those around them. The music therapists are there to help support communications using instrumental music and voice that is either sung or spoken, and sessions can either be undertaken in a one on one or group environment. One to try maybe?

https://www.ranker.com/crowdranked-list/the-greatest-film-scores-of-all-time

http://themindunleashed.com/2015/02/music-indeed-universal-language-study-concludes.html

https://www.differencebetween.com/difference-between-house-and-vs-trance/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-DaXxORO2E (Club Classics 90's)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YCP5vyomTeE (Creamfields 1999)

Family is everything to me.

Today we had a small celebration lunch for my parents Diamond Wedding Anniversary, which was on Thursday. It was wonderful to have my husband, my sons and their partners, and my brother and partner there with my parents, and we did have a laugh. We made wonderful memories.

My parents were very tired by the time we left. It's made me realise they are aging fast, and I just wish I could stop time moving onwards. But today I got a couple of videos and lots of  up to date photos of my parents together......and mum is smiling. She doesn't like her picture being taken so it's hard to get her to smile when we point a camera at her. She really laughed today, and we captured those moments. Dad is always the joker, so it's easy to get him to smile fortunately. Getting them to pose together in a picture is another challenge, but we actually managed that too. 😀

I think today was important because I am aware that my parents won't be here forever, much as I'd like them to be. My Aunty Val's death two weeks ago has made me realise that I have so few photos of anyone close to me, in spite of having a camera on my mobile and all the media sites I belong to. I happily snap away at my cats, and the scenery around us if we are out, but don't take enough family photos. It's funny that in this day of selfies and snapchat and Instagram I am not quite up to scratch on clicking away. I think I am that in between age where I've used camera and used mobiles. My parents are the camera age group and my sons are the mobile age group. I just can't seem to get my act together on either. I know I add a photo to each of my blogs but I still don't take as many as the younger generation do. Gosh I'm sounding old! 

The support and love that shone around my parents today almost crackled in the air. My parents looked after my sons when they were small and I worked. The boys were pretty much brought up by them until school age. Both sons are very close to my parents. I could see the interaction and ease they have with mum and dad and it made me proud and full of love for them all. Grandparents are very important. They are a source of wisdom, influence and have a positive impact. I believe my sons realise that, because they go to my parents for all sorts of advice and help. I'm glad my parents are here for my sons. 

Our family is very close. My uncle, my father's brother, popped in to visit my parents today. It was just after lunch and we were all mellow and relaxed. He came in, and we had some great laughs and more photos and lots of chat and reminiscing. It was the ease with how we all were together that made me feel warm and happy and content. I know I am incredibly lucky. My family all get on well, and we phone and text each other regularly during each week. We make sure we are okay and give support if needed. Some people don't have this. People fall out, simply don't get on or dislike members of their family. We can't all get on in life but today I counted my blessings that we do. To me family is everything.

So I wore my knickers inside out!

I am now on a week's holiday from work. Whoop, whoop! I obviously need it, as yesterday I wore my knickers inside out all day, fortunately not in 'superman style'.

Contrary to what any person may be thinking, I did not get dressed in the dark. It was quite perfectly light actually. I just wasn't taking any notice of what I was doing. What's worse is that I didn't even realise until I got home and changed out of my work clothes. Now it's not really a disaster. No-one could see I had done that, and no-one laughed! I'm still embarrassed though.

I've done worse. I have wondered around a supermarket with my jumper on inside out, label exposed, with all the seams on show, and not realised until I've got home. I've even got to my parents house and realised that I have one black shoe on and one navy shoe. I'm always wearing odd socks, but that's considered quite trendy and cool. To be honest I'm not quite with it when I'm getting ready for the day sometimes, and it shows. I make my lunch. I go to work. Said lunch is still in the fridge. I make a list. I go shopping. Said list is on the work top at home. I'm just a walking dippy person sometimes. 

I think it's a bit of stress right now? At the moment I have a lot going on, and over the last few days I can feel it building up. I'm working really hard to keep it under control but my biggest problem is that I like things to be perfect. I have gone over and over in my head my parents Diamond anniversary small lunch for the family. What food to have, how to lay the table, the cake, the balloons, the announcement and how the day will go. I like to plan carefully, and so far the cake is great, the presents are lovely, the card we picked is beautiful, oh and the card from the Queen arrived. My mother actually thought the card from the Queen was a joke, until I explained how special it is. I just hope she didn't screw it up! So far the only disappointment I have had is that the announcement in our local paper was not how I thought it should be. It was put amongst the classified ads under Celebrations not under family announcements, and I have expressed my disappointment to the Editor, and requested they think again about where they place things like that in the future. It's not going to help the announcement I put for today but I actually think it's not acceptable. The death notices are all large and spaced nicely, yet celebrations are tightly packed in a page full of ads like 'woman wants to solvent man' and 'three Victorian chairs for sale'. A celebration should be exactly that and one for people to see clearly. Anyway we will see what the reply is. 

Back to my dippy moments. I can honestly say I have never walked out of a toilet with toilet roll stuck to my shoe. I have seen many others do it, particularly when I used to go clubbing. I think it is ingrained in my head to check this fully before I exit a toilet!! But I have managed to splash myself with water from a violent tap in a public toilet, so I look like I have wet myself. I have also been out to dinner, wearing white, and dropped a spoon in my soup so it splattered up my top right at the start of the meal. I do not order soup or spaghetti or anything sloppy when we are out to eat any more!! It's a learning curve, but I hate to say that this wasn't the first time I have worn my knickers inside out. Still I suppose it's better than wearing my trousers inside out? I've done that, but only at home! 

Oh the joys of not concentrating, and sometimes wandering through life in a haze. I have told my sons I am going to do things like wearing my knickers inside out deliberately when I am old (older). I am going to run down the street in my nightie, flirt with strange men in the local British Legion and escape and run riot in a supermarket. There will be no hope for me, and I will have lots of fun annoying the hell out of them!! I probably won't actually, but it's very funny to worry them. 

What's in a name?

I spent most of my childhood having my name mispronounced. You can't imagine that, as it's not so unusual now. Yet I got called Clara, Claire, and all sorts of variations. My name is Carla!

When I was born people called their children very traditional names. There were a lot of children called Susan, Jane, John and Stephen in my class. My mother was absolutely sure she was going to have a boy when she was pregnant with me. She had chosen a boys name, Charles/Charlie, the middle name of my grandfather, but no girls name. When I was born my parents were totally flummoxed as to what to all me. My lovely Aunty, who died last week, was engaged to an Austrian man and they came up with the name Carla. My parents liked it, and here I am! 

Now a days, of course, it isn't considered unusual, but it was in the nineteen fifties. When the famous sitcom writer Carla Lane appeared I did think thank goodness someone else English has the same name as me. It's only now that I realise her real name was in fact Romana Barrack and she used Carla as her professional name. 

People call their children all sorts of unusual names now. Celebrities in particular call their children outstanding names. Outstanding for the reason that they appear to have made them up! I suppose they want their children to appear different. I went very traditional with my sons just because I liked the names. Fortunately they like them. All children are called the name their parents liked before or when they were born, and that's it, because you are stuck with it for the rest of your life. You can change your name by deed poll if you want, but the original name will still have been registered somewhere in the archives of time. You can't escape it!

Having stood out all my school youth for my name, I know It took me years to love it. It's still not common, and I like that fact now. A fact I didn't like when I was young. I wanted to be the same as every one else and my name stopped that. I never had any problems making and having friends, but I do recall feeling a slight nervousness saying my name in a new class purely because of the reaction of 'oh that's unusual'. I wonder how the children called Porsche, Apple and Blue feel? I expect celebrates have their children all going to the same schools so maybe they don't stand out? 

Shakespeare wrote  'A rose by any other name would smell as sweet' in Romeo and Juliet. A comment about their names being different but not mattering. Really my name never mattered. I was, and still am, the same person whether my name was and is Julia, Sarah or Carla! I am still me. But I do wonder if having an unusual name has an impact on how you perceive yourself, and as a consequence how you behave. I could never hide amongst the traditionally named people if there was trouble at school because my name stood out. There was no confusion as to who I was. For the record I was always well behaved at school, did my homework on time, etc. Did my name have something to do with that? Probably not, but I know my name was recognisable as different years ago. To be honest I felt that I could never live up to my name. I wasn't exotic looking or flamboyant, though I do have an outgoing personality. I didn't have raven black hair, flashing eyes and a red pouting mouth. Should I have had? Well the name is rather Spanish so I thought I should have been like that. Anyway, I have grown to love my name. It's me, and how I am, but it has taken years to feel that way. 

The media do like to make fun of celebrity children's names. When Gwyneth Paltrow called her baby 'Apple' there was wide ridicule in the media. Katie Price called her daughter Princess Tiaamii and the media comments went viral. To be honest the naming of celebrity children are ignored now as almost 'attention seeking' because it's not so unusual to have an unusual name any more. Every celebrity does it. 

 I wonder if anyone else was given an unusual name and didn't like it? I trace my family history as a hobby, and have come across a few ancestors with unusual names but they were very often in religious families. Temperance, Love and Humility for example. One or two were known by their middle names in censuses, suggesting to me they preferred that one to their first name. I know that actors often have a 'stage name'. I wonder if that's what I should have done? I wonder what my stage name would have been...………..hmmmmm?

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/family/parenting/all-parents-should-beware-creative-baby-names---just-ask-my-son/

https://www.businessinsider.com/what-are-the-real-names-of-singers-and-celebrities-2015-1?r=US&IR=T

MP - a representation of the voters.

I suspect many people feel the same as me. I am heartily sick of our MP's. 

What is an MP? The dictionary definition is MP - A member of Parliament. A representation of the voters. 

Dear MP's please note this word 'representation'.

As a voter in my country I can only look at the shambles going on in our Parliament with utter horror and despair. The situation, all surrounding Brexit, is escalating instead of coming to it's end. The government should be coming together and supporting the Prime Minister, and yet this is not what is going on. It is interesting to note that many of the MP's who had the majority of constituents vote to leave the EU are actually fighting every thing the Prime Minister is putting forward. This proves to me that they are not impartial, and are basically following their own beliefs instead of those that elected them. They seem to believe they are representable for the voters, when that is clearly not what is happening. How dare they think they know better than your voters? In fact I find it hard to see any MP doing what their constituents want right now.

Whether you voted to remain or leave, the small majority vote was to go. What are we going to do? Have another 'people's vote'? I think MP's may be surprised to find that, whatever people voted for, they just want it all just to complete now. What if the 'people's vote' was to accept the Prime Minister's deal? What if the majority vote was to carry on leaving? Well what a shock to those MP's. I think many of those MP's will not be voted in at the next elections. People are not stupid, and MP's are not above them, smarter than them, or even more knowledgeable than them. They were voted in for a reason, and I suspect many of them have got caught up in the passion of their own beliefs, rather than doing their job.

So now we are at the impasse, with our Prime Minister looking like she could keel over at any moment. I have admiration for her. She is not who I would have picked to lead this country, and I feel she has a tenuous hold on her MP's, but she is trying very hard to bring to fruition what the majority of the voters wanted. For that, and her tenacity, she should be commended. 

I actually fear for her health. She looks more frail every day and sometimes I wonder if deep down her MP's are trying to kill her!! Honestly, I do. Because no-one can stand this sort of infighting for very long. The stress and strain will destroy the body and exhaust the mind. I know I am sounding rather dramatic but medically you need a strong constitution to deal with that amount of pressure. She must be exhausted. I now think we are at the stage of a 'witch hunt'. There is a nasty taste in the mouth when you look at our Parliament. The distaste of the people is clear to see and hear, with many mutterings going on. We basically have a rabble and infight happening in our Parliament!! Maybe they should learn from history. There comes a point when people rebel, whether by their votes or by their actions. We are so close to that stage now that MP's should fear for their jobs. 

I don't know what the end result will be. Right now, if I am honest, I would like the EU to turn around and say 'you wanted to leave so just go'. They won't of course, because it isn't in their interest, but they must be as fed up as we all are? There are too many horror stories around about what will happen if this....if that....possibly....maybe....Well we just don't know, so please can we just get on with it. MP's get on with your actual job. Do it. Once we do, we can get on with our lives, and bring stability back to the country. We can then be proud of our country, and start to live again...……

https://www.parliament.uk/about/mps-and-lords/members/mps/

Food food glorious (Marmite) food :-)

Marmite. Love it or loath it. There is no in between! I love it. Neil really, really loathes it.

I wonder why people don't like certain foods? I am quite fond of saying that I like all foods, but when I think about it that is not true. I don't like cockles and winkles (yuk). Neil loves them (still yuk). I'm not a fan of oysters particularly (yukky texture). Hmmmm, Neil isn't either. Goats cheese is quite simply too tangy a taste for me. Neil loves it, and even has it on his pizza sometimes (eeyuk). Oh, and I have gone off bacon. Yes you've guessed it, Neil loves a good bacon sandwich. I actually love the smell of it cooking, but I can't bring myself to put it in my mouth. Very strange as I used to eat it. I also don't like tea. Neil only drinks tea! Years ago I loved a good cup of tea, but when I got a tummy bug I couldn't cope with any milk for some reason. Tea without milk was not something I enjoyed at all, so a weak black coffee became my hot drink of choice. My mother used to joke that it wasn't worth me drinking it though, as I only had a few 'grains' of coffee in the cup. I do now use a full teaspoon of decaf Nescafe Gold Blend in my cup of coffee so it does actually taste of something, but I have never been able to drink it with milk, and even weirder I have never gone back to drinking a cup of tea again. On the odd occasion I fancy a cup of tea but the minute I make it I just think 'yuk' and throw it away. It's all very strange, and must be something to do with my taste buds I suppose? I like peppermint tea though!

Anyway back to food 😀. Neil and I are foodies. We love cooking, eating and checking out recipes. Oh, and we watch a fair few cookery programmes too. But I didn't realise how many foods I love that Neil dislikes, and visa versa, until I started to list them. I adore apple pie. Neil doesn't. Neither does he like apple crumble or apple tarts. I like trifle. Nope Neil doesn't. I love, love, love custard. Nope, Neil doesn't. Avocado? Yes I do, no Neil doesn't. Honey? Yep, Neil nope. Lemon puffs yum yum. Neil is almost sick at the thought of eating them. In fact right now I am surprised we even cook and eat the same dinner! Gosh the more I think about it the more foods I realise we don't agree on. Marzipan? Yes, no. Peas? Yes, no. Dear oh dear. Mind you it appears I like more varieties of food than Neil. I wonder if this has anything to do with how we were brought up, or is it all about taste?

My mother was born in Germany, and she cooked in a very different way to how my English relatives did. There were a lot of sauces, garnishes and different vegetables. My father had an allotment and we had a big garden as I was growing up. Dad loved to experiment, and we had yellow beetroot and red onions years before they were at the supermarket. My sons grew up used to eating raw vegetables and helping dad dig and plant the seeds. Both of them eat most types of vegetables. Neil admits that his mother was a 'plain' cook and not adventurous. He did serve overseas when he was in the Army so I can't say that he is conservative with his food, but he still is quite adamant in what he doesn't like. He did tell me that years of lumpy custard at school has put him off it. And apparently marmite is just too strong a taste for him....I grew up taking marmite and pate or cheese sandwiches to school in my teens! Surely it cant be to do with how you were brought up?

We all have taste buds, so why don't we all like the same foods? Well it seems that we don't all have the same amount of taste buds. I didn't know that until......yes, you know what's coming......I looked it up. (I think I am becoming predictable??) It also depends on how sensitive those taste buds are to certain flavours as to what you like. It makes for interesting reading, but to be honest all I know is what I like and don't like. The yummy and the yukky! Basically I just like food. I like to eat it and that is probably why I am rather more rotund than I should be? I am also an emotional eater. I eat when I am unhappy, fed up, bored, tired, irritable...….You get the idea? I also eat when I am happy. I really have no off button. In fact the only time I don't eat is when I am very ill with a tummy bug or bad throat, in total stomach churning love, or in stomach rolling nervousness. That's the difference between Neil and myself. He is not overweight and food isn't the be all and end all to him. I live to eat, he eats to live. Now I wonder if this is because of life style, upbringing or genetics? This may be one for another blog me thinks.……..?

https://www.thekitchn.com/5-reasons-why-we-love-some-foo-145555

http://www.tastescience.com/abouttaste3.html

The zonked out sleep bit....

There are different stages of sleep. The drifty off can still hear the cats mucking about (annoying) bit, the shallow almost asleep legs jerking (annoying) bit, and the zonked flat out, snoring away, cats have gone downstairs thank goodness (not annoying as I am dead to the world) bit. We all do most of those stages even if we don't think we do.

Now there are proper names for those stages of sleep, but I think my way describes them quite adequately. I don't always get that jerky leg bit. You know, the stage where you are almost there, half conscious, and your legs jerk like you are falling off a building. Very annoying, and you usually fully wake up again. I have no idea why it happens but I expect I'll go off and Google it later, as usual! I also expect I'll put a link at the end of this blog, as usual. 

I dream a lot. I expect everyone does but they don't always remember them. I also apparently shout a lot in my dreams! It seems that I like to wake Neil up even when I am asleep. Poor man. It appears I also like to fidget in my sleep. How do I know this? Complaints from Neil, which is why he often is sleeping in another bedroom, and the faint awareness a cat has thumped off the bed at some point where I've shoved them. They get straight back on the bed so it's obviously not their choice to get off! I know I 'star fish', but it's usually because I'm trying to fit my legs round the cats. That happens in my slightly aware sleepy bit as I shuffle about. Once, years ago Neil and I decided to shut the cats out of the bedroom. The ensuing howls of despair, scratching at the door, and more howls of 'help we are all alone out here' meows went on for three nights before we gave up. Yes, it's very obvious we should have done that from the beginning, but hey ho. There is nothing like a cute kitten snuggling up to you, purring away, when you are drifting off to sleep. Now we have four cats snuggling up, purring away, when we are drifting off to sleep. At least they cuddle the legs end not the face!

So, last night I actually woke myself up by calling out. I recall I was shouting at someone in my dream, warning them, but I haven't a clue about the rest of the dream. I'm a pretty prolific dreamer. I can even control my dreams sometimes. It's rare I have a nightmare, though I have had some, because I can change the dream from being nasty to something nice, or wake myself up. Don't ask me how, but the mind is a powerful thing. Oh, and I have one dream that I have dreamt since I was a teenager. A sort of historical drama thing that I have extended over the years. I have never go to the end, but I know various bits of the dream. I expect it's influenced by things I have read and watched, but I even know everyone's name in the dream. 

Sometimes I wake up feeling like I have a hangover, but I haven't had the pleasure of the alcohol. Now that's not so good. I wake up fuzzy and dry mouthed and a bit 'not with it'. I think that must be due to dehydration or sleeping with my mouth open. I suspect I do that now and again. I know I'm not one of these 'sleeping beauties' who look so lovely when they are all fluttery lashed asleep. I snore, I dribble if my mouth is open, I snuffle and talk. I'm sure Neil mutters about me talking so much in the day I should be able to be quiet when I am asleep, but oh no I still talk...!! Ha! He thinks I snore. He rumbles like a train roaring through a tunnel on a dark night, with the odd whistle tooting. 

Ah sleep. Humans do it, animals do it, some insects sleep, fish sleep. Some do it more than others (my cats, but sadly not at 2am which is why they sleep all day), and some don't need it much. But we all do it. I wish I could do it more...……..zzzzzzzz.

https://psychcentral.com/lib/stages-of-sleep/

https://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/guide/dreaming-overview#1

https://www.netdoctor.co.uk/healthy-living/wellbeing/news/a29253/hypnic-jerk-before-fall-asleep/

https://www.her.ie/life/heres-why-you-woke-up-with-that-hangover-feeling-when-you-werent-drinking-254149

When you make lists about your lists......

I make lists. It's the only way I can cope with everything I need to remember. I then often lose that list, and have to make another list. I keep finding old lists! There are a lot of lists...….

When I was running my work section I used to make a list at the beginning of the day, and then work through it during the following hours. After I had written the list I would then number the things on the list in order of importance. That wasn't necessarily in the order I had written the list, but it did help me to work out what was a priority. Sometimes I would add to the list during the day. Sometimes my day was a never ending time of ticking lists. Sometimes I hated that list!

Well I still make lists. I have a blackboard in the kitchen and that is regularly full of things to do. Right now it's got a lot of stuff I need to do this week in the build up to mum and dad's anniversary lunch. I have a couple of things that need to be done on Tuesday, one on Wednesday, Thursday and Saturday. I then have a list of what I need to cook Sunday morning before we go,  and the things we need to take on that day. It means I am organised, and hopefully wont forget anything. Sometimes the blackboard is full of the food we need to replace when we are shopping. Sometimes I write on it things I need to post, sometimes what I need to clean, rarely it's got nothing on it. 

Lists are what keeps me sane when I'm racing around seemly organising everyone else. In fact I am known as the 'organiser' in my family. I used to be the organiser amongst our friends too. Everyone would get me to work out what time we would meet, where and how we would get there. I didn't mind, the same as I don't mind organising the family events. But sometimes, I suppose, it would be nice to just turn up, not having done anything, a bit more? Mind you when that happens I do spend a fair bit of time before hand asking what I can do, and what I can bring. It seems I just can't rest unless I'm in the middle of everything.

I've thought about this now and again. Why am I the list maker, the organiser? I think it's because, deep down, I want to be needed. It's proving to myself that people want me around, and that I am useful. I don't want to be a burden, and so I put myself 'there' at the front of everything. But it's exhausting! There, I've admitted it. I do get really tired. Right now I am watching my 73 year old uncle running around telephoning everyone about my Auntie's death, sorting the funeral and all that goes with it, and I'm thinking he's going to burn himself out. I have offered to help if needed but sometimes you have to let other people be the 'doer'. I am glad that right now he is that one, and my uncle has always been the key to the family. Everyone goes to him if they need something, or need help or advice. There is always one organiser in our family, and when that one can't do it, someone else takes over the reins. I think it's like that in every family?

I found a list from Christmas the other day. It was tucked in to a magazine I was flicking through to see if I wanted to keep it or not. You do need a clear out now and again! On the back of this list was another list. It was pretty similar to the first one but with a few things added. I think I was all listed out by the looks of things. When you make a list of a list then you are in trouble...….organised, but in trouble! 

I will just mention that one advice given to do when you can't sleep is write the things you are thinking about down. As a prolific list maker I have done this. May I just suggest you turn the light on to do it. I have written down things in the dark, and it is absolutely impossible to tell what you wrote about in the morning. Mind you it really does help you stop thinking about it. Unless of course you spend the rest of the following night wondering what you wrote about??

https://www.lifehack.org/articles/productivity/9-reasons-why-you-should-use-lists-and-what-you-can-use-them-for.html

https://www.lifehack.org/articles/productivity/why-lists-dont-work-and-how-change-that.html